For sale: One parachute Used once, never opened.
It’s always a little disconcerting how before you trust them with your life every airline checks you in using computers running Windows 95.
It’s always a little disconcerting how before you trust them with your life every airline checks you in using computers running Windows 95.
I was really bad in school. I failed maths so many times, I can’t even count.
I was really bad in school. I failed maths so many times, I can’t even count.
What did King Midas say to the centaur? Stay gold, Ponyboy.
What did King Midas say to the centaur? Stay gold, Ponyboy.
They cloned a man without his permission. Was he angry? He was just beside himself.
They cloned a man without his permission. Was he angry? He was just beside himself.
I removed Sean Connery’s limbs & replaced them with Daniel Craig’s arms & Pierce Brosnan’s legs. They formed an unlikely Bond.
I removed Sean Connery’s limbs & replaced them with Daniel Craig’s arms & Pierce Brosnan’s legs. They formed an unlikely Bond.
How do you kill a giraffe? Punch him in the throat.
How do you kill a giraffe? Punch him in the throat.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my dad did not screaming in terror like the passengers in his cab.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my dad did not screaming in terror like the passengers in his cab.
So glad guys with twirly mustaches don’t tie up girls to railroad tracks anymore.
So glad guys with twirly mustaches don’t tie up girls to railroad tracks anymore.
I thought I was listening to a Maroon 5 song on the radio when I realized that the radio is off and I need to have my brakes changed.
I thought I was listening to a Maroon 5 song on the radio when I realized that the radio is off and I need to have my brakes changed.