I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, its still not enough.
I almost didn’t remember today was September 11th Then I felt bad, because I said I’d never forget.
I almost didn’t remember today was September 11th Then I felt bad, because I said I’d never forget.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile I told her that’s an awfully big word for a ten year old
My girlfriend called me a pedophile I told her that’s an awfully big word for a ten year old
How to catch a polar bear Cut a hole in the ice. Surround the hole with frozen peas. When the bear walks up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole!
How to catch a polar bear Cut a hole in the ice. Surround the hole with frozen peas. When the bear walks up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole!
A midget clairvoyant just escaped from prison… …police are looking for a small medium at large.
A midget clairvoyant just escaped from prison… …police are looking for a small medium at large.
What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal that’s always telling you how busy it is!
What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal that’s always telling you how busy it is!
what is the hardest part to eat on a vegetable? the wheelchair.
what is the hardest part to eat on a vegetable? the wheelchair.
My brother pointed to his coffee table and said “those are my new gloves” He’s always making off-hand remarks like that
My brother pointed to his coffee table and said “those are my new gloves” He’s always making off-hand remarks like that
Did you know… Did you know that Stevie Wonder has been paying child support for kids he’s never seen?
Did you know… Did you know that Stevie Wonder has been paying child support for kids he’s never seen?
Did you hear about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making head lines…
Did you hear about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making head lines…