QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people.
A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: “What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?” the minister asked. “Try to fix it if its big; ignore it if its insignificant,” replied the lawyer. “What do you do?” lawyer asked. “Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day I meant to say the devil is the father of liars, but instead I said the devil is the father of lawyers, so I let it go,” minister replied.
A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: “What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?” the minister asked. “Try to fix it if its big; ignore it if its insignificant,” replied the lawyer. “What do you do?” lawyer asked. “Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you […]
A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then Im against it.” “But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then Im for it.” “This is my final position, and I will not compromise!”
A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then Im against it.” “But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into […]
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
Q: What has dual airbags and has lots of room?A: The White House.
Q: What has dual airbags and has lots of room?A: The White House.
A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats, too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air. There was one exception. A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because Im not a liberal Democrat.” “Then,” asks the teacher, “What are you?” “Why Im a proud conservative Republican,” boasts the little girl. The teacher, a little perturbed and her face slightly red, asked Lucy why she is a conservative Republican. “Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too.” The teacher, now angry, loudly says, “Thats no reason! What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron? What would you be then?” The teacher paused and smiled. “Then,” Lucy said, “Id be a liberal Democrat.”
A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats, too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air. There was one exception. A […]
A small boy was asked by his teacher, “What is the size of the Democratic Party?” “About 5 feet 2 inches,” he replied promptly. “NO!” exploded the teacher.. “I mean, how MANY members does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches?” “Well,” replied the boy, “my father is 6 feet tall and every night he puts his hands to his chin and says.. “Ive had it up to HERE with the Democratic Party!”
A small boy was asked by his teacher, “What is the size of the Democratic Party?” “About 5 feet 2 inches,” he replied promptly. “NO!” exploded the teacher.. “I mean, how MANY members does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches?” “Well,” replied the boy, “my father is 6 feet tall and […]
Why is Congress like a cold?Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the nos (nose).
Why is Congress like a cold?Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the nos (nose).
Why are Vampires Democrats?They want Gore in 2000.
Why are Vampires Democrats?They want Gore in 2000.
At an outdoor press conference, Al Gore was addressing harsh criticism of being “lifeless as a statue.””That is absurd,” Gore stoically stated. “When elected, the people of America will see just how passionate and alive I truly am.”Embarrassed for her husband, Tipper, leaned in to whisper, “Honey, you have a pigeon on your head.”
At an outdoor press conference, Al Gore was addressing harsh criticism of being “lifeless as a statue.””That is absurd,” Gore stoically stated. “When elected, the people of America will see just how passionate and alive I truly am.”Embarrassed for her husband, Tipper, leaned in to whisper, “Honey, you have a pigeon on your head.”