Why do Iraqi police officers walk in threes? The first knows how to read, the second knows how to write and the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.
A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further hes stopped by a police officer. Officer: “Good evening sir. Were testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?”. Man: “Im sorry, I cant do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air”. Officer: “Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test”. Man: “I cant do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death”. Officer: “Then youll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line”. Man: “Cant do that either”. Officer: “Why not?”. Man: “Because Im dead drunk”.
A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further hes stopped by a police officer. Officer: “Good evening sir. Were testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?”. Man: “Im sorry, I cant do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I […]
Lady:(standing in the middle of a busy street) Officer, can you tell me how to get to the Hospital?Officer: Just stand where you are!!!
Lady:(standing in the middle of a busy street) Officer, can you tell me how to get to the Hospital?Officer: Just stand where you are!!!
Woman: Officer you must help. Ive just lost my wig. Police officer: Certainly, maam, well comb the area.
Woman: Officer you must help. Ive just lost my wig. Police officer: Certainly, maam, well comb the area.
Cop: Why didnt you stop when I shouted at you back there?Motorist: I thought you were saying “Good morning, Mr. Mayor.”Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.
Cop: Why didnt you stop when I shouted at you back there?Motorist: I thought you were saying “Good morning, Mr. Mayor.”Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.
Motorist: Why are you crying after giving me that ticket?Policeman: It was a moving violation.
Motorist: Why are you crying after giving me that ticket?Policeman: It was a moving violation.
Police Chief: Why are you putting handcuffs on that building?Officer: Im making a house arrest
Police Chief: Why are you putting handcuffs on that building?Officer: Im making a house arrest
Police Chief: Why did you arrest that doctor?Officer: He was trying to take someones pulse.
Police Chief: Why did you arrest that doctor?Officer: He was trying to take someones pulse.
Police Chief: Why did you ticket the computer?Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.
Police Chief: Why did you ticket the computer?Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.
Police Chief: Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.
Police Chief: Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.