Category: Snowman jokes

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

So my girlfriend asked me the other day “Don’t you know where the G Spot is?” And I said yeah of course I know where the G spot is. It is between the F Spot and the H spot.

Million dollar idea: an alarm clock that plays Nickelback if you hit snooze.

Wanna hear a joke? Never mind. I was going to make a black joke but I’ll slave it for later? Wanna hear a virginity joke? Never mind, I lost it.

I just read the words “untimely death” and thought, “Man, I hope my death is timely.”

Popup ads are the Jehovah’s witnesses of the internet.

It’s 80 degrees in San Francisco today. Girls are wearing skirts so short you can almost see their dicks.

If Bernie doesn’t get the nomination, I’m voting Trump… Also, if McDonalds is out of Chicken Nuggets, I’m going to eat 20 scorpions.

* see weird traffic pattern * turns down radio * smoothly avoids gargantuan pothole * runs over sign saying avoid gargantuan pothole

My gay friend got stoned today. I told him Saudi Arabia was not a good honeymoon destination but he didn’t listen.