Category: Money jokes

A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, “If it werent for my money, we wouldnt be here at all!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it werent for your money, […]

What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.

Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks – but half the pages are missing. Whats the matter? Isnt half a million enough for you?

Two mosquitoes were buzzing round when they saw a drunken man. One said to the other “You bite him ? I’m driving.”

Ranger Station BOSS: I have reports that you treat the wildlife inappropriately ME: No way *porcupine waddles by w/ kebabs on each quill*

A bad analogy is like a cucumber

Guy: girl are you a newspaper? Girl: no why? Guy: because there’s a new issue with you every fucking day.

What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after the third ‘Ho’

What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class? Go ahead, bake my clay. *walks away slowly*

Can everyone start saying salad is really bad for me so I can start craving it?