Just said, “Because I said so!,” and my mom called demanding her royalty check.
The only thing worse than finding a hair in your food is realizing that the person who prepared it has a bald head.
The only thing worse than finding a hair in your food is realizing that the person who prepared it has a bald head.
Horrible Breakfast wife: “do u want your eggs boiled?” husband: “no, first boil your milk”
Horrible Breakfast wife: “do u want your eggs boiled?” husband: “no, first boil your milk”
What’s the difference between a dog and a fox? About 6 beers.
What’s the difference between a dog and a fox? About 6 beers.
My friend said she was taking next week off to be with her new puppy. I said, “You’re taking mutt-ernity leave?”
My friend said she was taking next week off to be with her new puppy. I said, “You’re taking mutt-ernity leave?”
“Moooooooo” – bilingual donkey
“Moooooooo” – bilingual donkey
My friends keep telling me to stop impersonating butter. But I can’t. I’m on a roll now
My friends keep telling me to stop impersonating butter. But I can’t. I’m on a roll now
Take your time for this joke Loading..
Take your time for this joke Loading..
Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
If God wanted me to mow my own lawn, He wouldn’t have given me the ability to earn a postgraduate degree.
If God wanted me to mow my own lawn, He wouldn’t have given me the ability to earn a postgraduate degree.