What do you call an imaginary color? A pigment of your imagination.
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt. So I fucked her 3 times and punched her in the face.
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt. So I fucked her 3 times and punched her in the face.
When I was younger MTV actually played videos. That’s what the M stands for. Music. Not Maternity, Motherhood or Moron.
When I was younger MTV actually played videos. That’s what the M stands for. Music. Not Maternity, Motherhood or Moron.
“Daddy, how do you spell Budweiser?” “Uhhh….why?” “I’m drawing a picture of you for school.” “Cool! It’s spelled G-A-T-O-R-A-D-E.”
“Daddy, how do you spell Budweiser?” “Uhhh….why?” “I’m drawing a picture of you for school.” “Cool! It’s spelled G-A-T-O-R-A-D-E.”
I’m so single, I was at a bar last night and a cute guy offered to buy me a cat.
I’m so single, I was at a bar last night and a cute guy offered to buy me a cat.
Before Facebook, you had to “like” things with your feelings.
Before Facebook, you had to “like” things with your feelings.
I’m so good at this Fitbit thing! I reached my daily step goal before I even left my bed this morning!
I’m so good at this Fitbit thing! I reached my daily step goal before I even left my bed this morning!
A man in a restaurant asks the waiter, “How does the chef prepare the chicken?” The waiter replies, “He looks it straight in the eye and says, ‘You’re gonna die.'”
A man in a restaurant asks the waiter, “How does the chef prepare the chicken?” The waiter replies, “He looks it straight in the eye and says, ‘You’re gonna die.’”
One direction should be renamed 0.8 Direction
One direction should be renamed 0.8 Direction
I accidentally mixed my coffee my redbull.. After 15 minutes of driving I realised I forgot my car.
I accidentally mixed my coffee my redbull.. After 15 minutes of driving I realised I forgot my car.