Why cant a Gorilla get a job? BECAUSE HE’S BLACK
Me: Whatcha making? Mom: Dill bread. Me: So, do you have yeast on your dill dough? Mom: Get out.
Me: Whatcha making? Mom: Dill bread. Me: So, do you have yeast on your dill dough? Mom: Get out.
What did Luke say at Han and Leia’s wedding? May divorce be with you
What did Luke say at Han and Leia’s wedding? May divorce be with you
Don’t have phone sex Because you’ll get hearing aids
Don’t have phone sex Because you’ll get hearing aids
What’s Michigan’s favorite beer? PbR
What’s Michigan’s favorite beer? PbR
My coworker loses her keycard so much she just legally changed her name to Guest Badge.
My coworker loses her keycard so much she just legally changed her name to Guest Badge.
Pessimist: This can’t get any worse. Optimist: Yes it can!
Pessimist: This can’t get any worse. Optimist: Yes it can!
After 1am you can sit back and relax because the bad decisions pretty much make themselves.
After 1am you can sit back and relax because the bad decisions pretty much make themselves.
Have you heard the one about the constipated mathematician? … he worked it out with a pencil.
Have you heard the one about the constipated mathematician? … he worked it out with a pencil.
I was touched when my slutty ex-girlfriend said she got a tattoo for me, but it turned out to be a heart with the name “Occupant.”
I was touched when my slutty ex-girlfriend said she got a tattoo for me, but it turned out to be a heart with the name “Occupant.”