I’m Asexual, I don’t give a fuck.
I’m not saying I want a divorce, it’s just that sometimes 50% custody sounds pretty appealing.
I’m not saying I want a divorce, it’s just that sometimes 50% custody sounds pretty appealing.
Whats Black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee, ya racist.
Whats Black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee, ya racist.
Bras are like the illuminati They’re on top, hard to see, harder to unlock, and hold all the good stuff.
Bras are like the illuminati They’re on top, hard to see, harder to unlock, and hold all the good stuff.
What is the difference between a young man and an old man? The young man shampoos his head and soaps his ass, the old man soaps his head and shampoos his ass.
What is the difference between a young man and an old man? The young man shampoos his head and soaps his ass, the old man soaps his head and shampoos his ass.
*cute bartender gives me back my credit card* “No it’s cool, you keep it”
*cute bartender gives me back my credit card* “No it’s cool, you keep it”
I tried baby proofing my home.. But they keep getting in
I tried baby proofing my home.. But they keep getting in
knock knock Knock knock? Who’s there? King Tut King Tut who? King Tut Key Fried Chicken!
knock knock Knock knock? Who’s there? King Tut King Tut who? King Tut Key Fried Chicken!
Instead of complaining that it’s hard to remove glitter, accept it. Embrace it. You are a shiny person now.
Instead of complaining that it’s hard to remove glitter, accept it. Embrace it. You are a shiny person now.
[creation of bats] God: stretch out that mouse
[creation of bats] God: stretch out that mouse