Star Wars Spoilers Woosh Woosh Pewpew Pew Pew
I can never remember if it’s “laying” or “lying.” Anyway, I hit a dude with my car and he’s doing one of them in the middle of the road. :(
I can never remember if it’s “laying” or “lying.” Anyway, I hit a dude with my car and he’s doing one of them in the middle of the road. 🙁
What makes an elderly millionaire bachelor more attractive? Terminal illness.
What makes an elderly millionaire bachelor more attractive? Terminal illness.
When God closes a door, he opens a window. Our heating bill is outrageous & six raccoons got in last night. Please God, this has to stop.
When God closes a door, he opens a window. Our heating bill is outrageous & six raccoons got in last night. Please God, this has to stop.
My dog understands four words: his name, food, outside and Antidisestablishmentarianism.
My dog understands four words: his name, food, outside and Antidisestablishmentarianism.
I’m fat and get laughed at when I say I have an eating disorder But I wouldn’t be fat if I could stop eating disorder, datorder, and da other one too
I’m fat and get laughed at when I say I have an eating disorder But I wouldn’t be fat if I could stop eating disorder, datorder, and da other one too
A guy is fingering his girlfriend… …after a while, she starts to shift uncomfortably and says “would you mind taking your ring off, please?” The guy responds: “what ring? That’s my wristwatch!”
A guy is fingering his girlfriend… …after a while, she starts to shift uncomfortably and says “would you mind taking your ring off, please?” The guy responds: “what ring? That’s my wristwatch!”
[text] Her: I picked up buffalo wings. Me: * moves furniture around * rolls out plastic sheeting
[text] Her: I picked up buffalo wings. Me: * moves furniture around * rolls out plastic sheeting
A SQL statement walks into a bar… he confidently walks up to a couple of tables and says, “May I join you?”.
A SQL statement walks into a bar… he confidently walks up to a couple of tables and says, “May I join you?”.
Did you hear about the gangster panda? It eats shoots and leaves.
Did you hear about the gangster panda? It eats shoots and leaves.