COP: Freeze!!! EXCEL: LOL no problem
Me: Hi Kid: M: Still? It’s been a week K: YOUR FIRST INSTINCT DURING A CAR ACCIDENT WAS TO PROTECT YOUR PHONE! M: You didn’t die. Calm down.
Me: Hi Kid: M: Still? It’s been a week K: YOUR FIRST INSTINCT DURING A CAR ACCIDENT WAS TO PROTECT YOUR PHONE! M: You didn’t die. Calm down.
When you have sex you burn 1000 calories. No wonder you’re so fat.
When you have sex you burn 1000 calories. No wonder you’re so fat.
Why are spiders good swimmers ? They have webbed feet !
Why are spiders good swimmers ? They have webbed feet !
LPT: If you ever find yourself lost in the wild… …simply misspell the SOS signal and some arsehole will show up within minutes to correct you.
LPT: If you ever find yourself lost in the wild… …simply misspell the SOS signal and some arsehole will show up within minutes to correct you.
Guys, read the fine print before selling your soul to the devil. There’s no way to opt out of his email newsletters.
Guys, read the fine print before selling your soul to the devil. There’s no way to opt out of his email newsletters.
Do you think the rattlesnake is ever embarrassed that he has a stupid baby toy at the end of his string body
Do you think the rattlesnake is ever embarrassed that he has a stupid baby toy at the end of his string body
What’s a prison executioners favorite beer? Shock-top
What’s a prison executioners favorite beer? Shock-top
What did the redneck get on his SAT? Drool.
What did the redneck get on his SAT? Drool.
What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three ho’s
What’s the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three ho’s