What did the hot dog vendor say at the World Trade Center? “Who ordered the two jumbos?!”
How many billionaires does it take to create a superhero? Three: two to die and one to never get over it.
How many billionaires does it take to create a superhero? Three: two to die and one to never get over it.
My ex and I would role play from time to time. She would dress up as a teacher and call my mother to tell her that I ate the Crayons again.
My ex and I would role play from time to time. She would dress up as a teacher and call my mother to tell her that I ate the Crayons again.
Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport? he was on a watch list…
Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport? he was on a watch list…
What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket? I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.
What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket? I can’t believe someone would stoop so low.
Some guys are afraid to finish when fapping… Not me, though. I ain’t afraid of nuttin!
Some guys are afraid to finish when fapping… Not me, though. I ain’t afraid of nuttin!
There is a mile long line of cars stopped ahead, but go ahead and honk at the guy in front of you. It might help.
There is a mile long line of cars stopped ahead, but go ahead and honk at the guy in front of you. It might help.
Life isn’t a garden, so don’t be a hoe.
Life isn’t a garden, so don’t be a hoe.
[1st date] Me: [putting my jacket over my dates shoulders] Her: “Thank you but I’m not cold” Me: [covering her awful dress] “Yes you are”
[1st date] Me: [putting my jacket over my dates shoulders] Her: “Thank you but I’m not cold” Me: [covering her awful dress] “Yes you are”
Twitter is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do and takes you nowhere
Twitter is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do and takes you nowhere