*Girl attempting to count to ten* girl 1: 1….3….5….7….9…. girl 2: What the hell? Why are you skipping numbers? girl 1: Because I can’t even!!!
My girlfriend and I decided we aren’t ready for a baby yet, so I double-bagged it. It worked; babies cannot breath through two layers of plastic shopping bag.
My girlfriend and I decided we aren’t ready for a baby yet, so I double-bagged it. It worked; babies cannot breath through two layers of plastic shopping bag.
*accidentally walks into women’s restroom* *plays it cool* *sits down* *finds comfort here* *changes name to Janice* *is alive* *is free*
*accidentally walks into women’s restroom* *plays it cool* *sits down* *finds comfort here* *changes name to Janice* *is alive* *is free*
What does the Army call it’s Muslim infantry units with vehicles? Mecca-nized infantry.
What does the Army call it’s Muslim infantry units with vehicles? Mecca-nized infantry.
Ocean How does the ocean greet us?
Ocean How does the ocean greet us?
You always have to be extra careful when driving through a predominantly black neighborhood at night. Because black people are super hard to see in the dark.
You always have to be extra careful when driving through a predominantly black neighborhood at night. Because black people are super hard to see in the dark.
*i put two straws in my drink* gf: awhh :) me: hell ya double barrel *i use both straws*
*i put two straws in my drink* gf: awhh 🙂 me: hell ya double barrel *i use both straws*
The odds of an asteroid hitting Earth are the same as one bullet hitting another bullet in a duel. Dinosaurs: We’ll take those odds!
The odds of an asteroid hitting Earth are the same as one bullet hitting another bullet in a duel. Dinosaurs: We’ll take those odds!
How do you know when there’s a lead singer on your porch? They can’t find the right key and don’t know when to come in.
How do you know when there’s a lead singer on your porch? They can’t find the right key and don’t know when to come in.
One of my friend told me that she got accepted at Dalhousie University… I told her to stay away from the dentistry students
One of my friend told me that she got accepted at Dalhousie University… I told her to stay away from the dentistry students