What are the ten greatest years of a woman’s life? The ones between 39 and 40.
Skipped the gym today to go to McDonald’s. The bus did not come back, so I had to walk 2 miles home. Well played, universe.
Skipped the gym today to go to McDonald’s. The bus did not come back, so I had to walk 2 miles home. Well played, universe.
I doubt vodka is the answer, but it’s worth a shot.
I doubt vodka is the answer, but it’s worth a shot.
Today I Called Shotgun… And the cop still put me in the backseat…
Today I Called Shotgun… And the cop still put me in the backseat…
What do you say upon hearing a bad Halloween joke? Booooooo, Booooooo
What do you say upon hearing a bad Halloween joke? Booooooo, Booooooo
What is the greatest intermolecular force of all time? Dipole, dipole, dipole, dipole, and dipole!
What is the greatest intermolecular force of all time? Dipole, dipole, dipole, dipole, and dipole!
Women are like pickup trucks. Men with poor taste usually want to add a lift kit.
Women are like pickup trucks. Men with poor taste usually want to add a lift kit.
Thank god pets can’t talk, they know so much
Thank god pets can’t talk, they know so much
Johnny threw a pack of cards at Jenny Jenny started crying but the teacher told her to deal with it
Johnny threw a pack of cards at Jenny Jenny started crying but the teacher told her to deal with it
I’ve completed my 1st four year term as husband and have been elected to a 2nd. Let the lame duck husbandry begin.
I’ve completed my 1st four year term as husband and have been elected to a 2nd. Let the lame duck husbandry begin.