Category: Halloween jokes

Pet skunk A buddy of mine has a pet skunk. Sleeps with him and his wife in their bed. I asked about the smell and he said the skunk got used to it, same as he did.

I sent my kids to public school because I didn’t want them to be spoiled. Turns out I didn’t want them to be educated either.

Life is like a box of chocolates neither lasts long for a fat person

What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!

America: School 6-18 should be free. More than free! MANDATORY “Hey can you cover school 19-22 also?” No that’s socialism “19-20?” SOCIALISM

I’m really glad I’m taking physics… …because although my grade falling, at least I can calculate it’s velocity.

Anytime a religious organization follows me I just assume I’m being used as a case study/example and they are praying super hard.

DOG BOSS: ur fired ME: wait, is there any way you’ll reconsider? DOG BOSS: no ME: u want to go for a ride in the car DOG BOSS: *tilts head*

I like my coffee like I like my women… Black and made by my dad.

Some people, SOME damn people, only tell jokes with famous French people in the punch line… Deneuve! DeGaulle!