I was called a racist for saying black paint today… Apparently the correct term is, “Tyrone paint the fence”
The doctor said I had, at best, a year to live… So I shot him. The judge gave me 30.
The doctor said I had, at best, a year to live… So I shot him. The judge gave me 30.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring… Not even a mouse stirred.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring… Not even a mouse stirred.
Knock knock! Who’s there? It’s me.
Knock knock! Who’s there? It’s me.
My mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer… finally.
My mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer… finally.
Large Group of Lions Seen Mating on the Banks of the Zambesi River Upstream of the Victoria Falls Pride cums before a fall.
Large Group of Lions Seen Mating on the Banks of the Zambesi River Upstream of the Victoria Falls Pride cums before a fall.
When my car starts making weird noises I just assume it’s becoming a Transformer.
When my car starts making weird noises I just assume it’s becoming a Transformer.
I’ve been seeing this narcoleptic girl lately, it’s going really well. I’m saving a fortune on Rohypnol.
I’ve been seeing this narcoleptic girl lately, it’s going really well. I’m saving a fortune on Rohypnol.
A 22 year old girl said to me “there’s NO WAY you are 41” I put her in my pocket and took her home. She’s mine now.
A 22 year old girl said to me “there’s NO WAY you are 41” I put her in my pocket and took her home. She’s mine now.
If using your 4yo as a remote control to fetch things makes you a bad parent, then I’m a bad parent… A bad parent with an ice cold beer.
If using your 4yo as a remote control to fetch things makes you a bad parent, then I’m a bad parent… A bad parent with an ice cold beer.