I was arrested for punching an elderly African-American lady at Home Depot. My wife told me to find a Black N’ Decker.
I like my coffee like I like my women Ground up and in the freezer.
I like my coffee like I like my women Ground up and in the freezer.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? -Walking. -JK, Rowling
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? -Walking. -JK, Rowling
whenever a song says put your hands in the air i do it on the spot. i have fun and also an alarming vehicle collision record
whenever a song says put your hands in the air i do it on the spot. i have fun and also an alarming vehicle collision record
What fish sounds like a telephone? Herring herring…herring herring…herring herring.
What fish sounds like a telephone? Herring herring…herring herring…herring herring.
What do you call an Islamic comedian? A Funni Muslim
What do you call an Islamic comedian? A Funni Muslim
*sees spider in the shower* Oh jeez I’m sorry lock the door next time buddy
*sees spider in the shower* Oh jeez I’m sorry lock the door next time buddy
Netflix just asked me to rate ‘Spy Kids 2’ and I clicked “I haven’t seen it” but I have. I have seen it. A lot.
Netflix just asked me to rate ‘Spy Kids 2’ and I clicked “I haven’t seen it” but I have. I have seen it. A lot.
Beyonce made a song called “Single Ladies” then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy
Beyonce made a song called “Single Ladies” then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy
At my last physical, my doctor told me I had to stop masturbating, and I asked why. He said, “Because I’m trying to give you a physical.”
At my last physical, my doctor told me I had to stop masturbating, and I asked why. He said, “Because I’m trying to give you a physical.”