Today I went to the convenience store to pick up some condoms. When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked “Would you like a bag?” I replied “No, she’s not that ugly”
You come home early and catch the cat eating with a knife and fork at the table. You stare at each other unsure of the next move.
You come home early and catch the cat eating with a knife and fork at the table. You stare at each other unsure of the next move.
My friend just got a pool table for Christmas so he gave me a call inviting me around for a pool tournament with the boys. I said thanks for the invite but I prefer to pool by myself.
My friend just got a pool table for Christmas so he gave me a call inviting me around for a pool tournament with the boys. I said thanks for the invite but I prefer to pool by myself.
Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was under the elephants foot.
Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was under the elephants foot.
Keep the tip Said the leper to the prostitute
Keep the tip Said the leper to the prostitute
Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game? Cuz you know something’s about to go down. Im sorry
Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game? Cuz you know something’s about to go down. Im sorry
What do an uncircumcised penis and the kkk have in common? They’re both pricks in oversized hoods.
What do an uncircumcised penis and the kkk have in common? They’re both pricks in oversized hoods.
My friend said “Women directors have never had major success with a live action film” So I said, “Nonsense! Just look at the Matrix trilogy.”
My friend said “Women directors have never had major success with a live action film” So I said, “Nonsense! Just look at the Matrix trilogy.”
When I see your face, there’s not a thing I would change …. except the direction I’m walking in.
When I see your face, there’s not a thing I would change …. except the direction I’m walking in.
Why does coffee take so long to make in a purcolator? Because it’s not called a purconow.
Why does coffee take so long to make in a purcolator? Because it’s not called a purconow.