What gave Hitler a heart attack? Seeing his gas bill
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of sex and wine drinking.
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of sex and wine drinking.
Mummy joke Did you know mummies fart alike? I guess you could say they Tutankhamun.
Mummy joke Did you know mummies fart alike? I guess you could say they Tutankhamun.
Is this your resume? “Yep” It just says you used to leave shit at your friends’ doors, ring the bell & run away “Oh yes” Welcome to UPS!
Is this your resume? “Yep” It just says you used to leave shit at your friends’ doors, ring the bell & run away “Oh yes” Welcome to UPS!
Batman went to Penguin’s bar and was given the wrong drink… Just ice was served.
Batman went to Penguin’s bar and was given the wrong drink… Just ice was served.
What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky’s mouth? One US Leader
What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky’s mouth? One US Leader
I don’t mind that my wife thinks I’m crazy. I mind that I have to hear it from our dog.
I don’t mind that my wife thinks I’m crazy. I mind that I have to hear it from our dog.
My autobiography would just be a really long Taco Bell receipt.
My autobiography would just be a really long Taco Bell receipt.
My mom asked where the remote was and my son told her it was up her ass. She high-fived him and then turned around and slapped me.
My mom asked where the remote was and my son told her it was up her ass. She high-fived him and then turned around and slapped me.
If you wondered if I was on the naughty list this year, I should probably tell you that the best gift I got was a packing peanut.
If you wondered if I was on the naughty list this year, I should probably tell you that the best gift I got was a packing peanut.