One of the cooler things you can do when you die is be buried with an elephant bone, just to confuse future archaeologists.
I took a poop in the elevator. I’m taking this shit to a whole new level.
I took a poop in the elevator. I’m taking this shit to a whole new level.
Why are setups to jokes so important? because seven ate nine.
Why are setups to jokes so important? because seven ate nine.
Armless Alice Q. Why did Alice fall off the swing? A. Because she has no arms. Q. Knock knock? *who’s there?* A. Not Alice…
Armless Alice Q. Why did Alice fall off the swing? A. Because she has no arms. Q. Knock knock? *who’s there?* A. Not Alice…
In honour of today: Christa McAuliffe’s last words. “Hey Captain, what does this button do?”
In honour of today: Christa McAuliffe’s last words. “Hey Captain, what does this button do?”
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
Hipsters burn their lips when they drink coffee Because they drink it before it’s cool.
Hipsters burn their lips when they drink coffee Because they drink it before it’s cool.
What idiot called it “CSI: France – Murder in a Bakery” instead of “Baguette and Tag It”
What idiot called it “CSI: France – Murder in a Bakery” instead of “Baguette and Tag It”
Why did the blonde pull the dildo out before she came? She wasn’t on the pill
Why did the blonde pull the dildo out before she came? She wasn’t on the pill
Oh, you want to fight? Ok, one second *takes off glasses, removes retainer, unpins towel cape, empties snacks from pockets, sets down kitten
Oh, you want to fight? Ok, one second *takes off glasses, removes retainer, unpins towel cape, empties snacks from pockets, sets down kitten