Category: Cowboy jokes

I realized I was maybe not the best listener when a friend had to come out to me twice.

What does a diabetic elf need? Tinselin

There was a kidnapping earlier today But then he woke up

How do you catch a polar bear? Go to the north pole and dig a hole in the ice. Set some peas around the hole and when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick it in the ice-hole.

Me: What kind of Dr. treats men who won’t talk on the phone? GF: What? M: A Guy-no-call-ogist. GF: I’m killing u in ur sleep tonight.

*Shrek pre-production meeting* Producer: Do we have a name for the dragon yet Guy who named the donkey “Donkey”: I was thinking Dragon sir

Knock knock, interrupting cat (warning, do NOT tell joke in busy public areas) Knock knock Who’s there? Interrupting cat Interrupting ca… MMEEAAOOWW

Losing my virginity was a lot like riding a bike for the first time. My dad was holding me from behind.

Why the chicken cross the road? To look for his cock.

What do you call a fat female assassin? A killer whale.