Me: Why don’t I have a boyfriend? God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That’s right. Gross.
What do you call a dog with no legs It doesn’t matter. He won’t come anyway.
What do you call a dog with no legs It doesn’t matter. He won’t come anyway.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, “Uno….dos….*poof*” He disappeared without a tres
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, “Uno….dos….*poof*” He disappeared without a tres
What did sushi A say to sushi B? WASSA-B!!!
What did sushi A say to sushi B? WASSA-B!!!
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.
What’s the best remedy for a sex starved drug addict? A jack and coke.
What’s the best remedy for a sex starved drug addict? A jack and coke.
Do flashers have dreams where they leave the house and suddenly realize they’ve got their pants on?
Do flashers have dreams where they leave the house and suddenly realize they’ve got their pants on?
I always eat tacos over a tortilla, so when stuff falls out BOOM extra taco
I always eat tacos over a tortilla, so when stuff falls out BOOM extra taco
How many guys in the friend zone does it take to light a light bulb? None, they just stand around complimenting it, and get mad when it won’t screw.
How many guys in the friend zone does it take to light a light bulb? None, they just stand around complimenting it, and get mad when it won’t screw.
I was gonna post a joke about you… But I just realized it doesn’t mean anything.
I was gonna post a joke about you… But I just realized it doesn’t mean anything.