How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? It depends on how thinly you slice them.
Why does Heisenberg hate driving? He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.
Why does Heisenberg hate driving? He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.
“Sorry I haven’t been tweeting much lately.” guy who actually thinks people notice when he’s not tweeting
“Sorry I haven’t been tweeting much lately.” guy who actually thinks people notice when he’s not tweeting
Why was Hitler bad at math? Because could never find the Final Solution.
Why was Hitler bad at math? Because could never find the Final Solution.
I told this girl that I was an architect. It’s true in a way, since I now have to design an intricate web of lies to back it up.
I told this girl that I was an architect. It’s true in a way, since I now have to design an intricate web of lies to back it up.
Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity? A: Her crayons are still sticky.
Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity? A: Her crayons are still sticky.
*fart noise* ME: it was your dog. I swear! GIRL: my dog died last year you liar GHOST DOG: theres no way she’s gonna sleep with you now lmao
*fart noise* ME: it was your dog. I swear! GIRL: my dog died last year you liar GHOST DOG: theres no way she’s gonna sleep with you now lmao
How to discipline your rock *you hit rock bottom*
How to discipline your rock *you hit rock bottom*
[Little Caesar’s meeting] “We need a new, clever slogan” *everyone looks at Jim* Jim: Um… Pizza…Pizza? “Jim…U just saved this company”
[Little Caesar’s meeting] “We need a new, clever slogan” *everyone looks at Jim* Jim: Um… Pizza…Pizza? “Jim…U just saved this company”
Kappa Full HD Mega 60FPS Sin Virus 1Link “No lo descargo porque ya lo tengo”
Kappa Full HD Mega 60FPS Sin Virus 1Link “No lo descargo porque ya lo tengo”