Did you hear about the newly announced cure for Parkinson’s Disease? It’s in a bottle with instructions to “shake well”
What’s the difference between Christmas and the Great Marianas Turkey Shoot? At Christmas, there’s a nip in the air.
What’s the difference between Christmas and the Great Marianas Turkey Shoot? At Christmas, there’s a nip in the air.
Whenever I order room service and the person tells me how long until the food arrives, I whisper, “If I’m alive by then,” and hang up.
Whenever I order room service and the person tells me how long until the food arrives, I whisper, “If I’m alive by then,” and hang up.
Your crush likes your status and you start to imagine life together!
Your crush likes your status and you start to imagine life together!
girl [smiling]: hey, how are you!? me [visibly nervous]: not much!
girl [smiling]: hey, how are you!? me [visibly nervous]: not much!
I just whispered “Come at me, bro” to a bug and it ran towards me, so now I’m in my car driving away from my old life.
I just whispered “Come at me, bro” to a bug and it ran towards me, so now I’m in my car driving away from my old life.
July 5th, 1776: The day the British drunk-texted America and said they still loved them.
July 5th, 1776: The day the British drunk-texted America and said they still loved them.
What do you call a Pokemon with a tiny head? Zikachu
What do you call a Pokemon with a tiny head? Zikachu
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
I’m no longer with a girl because she lied about her weight. She died in a bungee jumping accident.
I’m no longer with a girl because she lied about her weight. She died in a bungee jumping accident.