So, I was waiting for my dad at the bar for a reunion He walks in and asks “Hey son, how’s it going with the ladies?”. “Its not the going with the ladies I care about , it’s the coming”.
What is the best thing to take when you’re run over? The number of the car that hit you.
What is the best thing to take when you’re run over? The number of the car that hit you.
What’s a man in a hurry like to drink? man-go juice!
What’s a man in a hurry like to drink? man-go juice!
GOD: look what I created [points to clouds] ANGEL: what am I lookin at? GOD: Is it a bunny? A man face? It’s up to you! ANGEL: are you high?
GOD: look what I created [points to clouds] ANGEL: what am I lookin at? GOD: Is it a bunny? A man face? It’s up to you! ANGEL: are you high?
*guitarist breaks guitar* HELL YEAH *drummer throws drums* YES YES *singer stabs a bunch of guys* OH MY GOD *bassist plants a bomb* STOP
*guitarist breaks guitar* HELL YEAH *drummer throws drums* YES YES *singer stabs a bunch of guys* OH MY GOD *bassist plants a bomb* STOP
The saddest thing about trying to find a needle in a haystack is that your horse is hiding a drug habit from you.
The saddest thing about trying to find a needle in a haystack is that your horse is hiding a drug habit from you.
When is a pedofiles favorite part of a hockey game? Before first period
When is a pedofiles favorite part of a hockey game? Before first period
Damn girl are you a pair of sexy knickers??? You’re cute on the outside but you’re only covering a c*nt
Damn girl are you a pair of sexy knickers??? You’re cute on the outside but you’re only covering a c*nt
Why is marriage like a tornado? Sure it’s all sucking and blowing in the beginning, but by time it is over your house is gone.
Why is marriage like a tornado? Sure it’s all sucking and blowing in the beginning, but by time it is over your house is gone.
Q: What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains? A: Patty O’Furniture.
Q: What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains? A: Patty O’Furniture.