I peel my underwear off as you watch me & then hand it to you, Smiling You know what’s coming next.. It’s your turn to do the laundry
What is Michael Bay’s favorite phone? Note 7
What is Michael Bay’s favorite phone? Note 7
What do prisoners use to talk to each other? Cell phones.
What do prisoners use to talk to each other? Cell phones.
*turns TV off* “THEY HAD CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BUT NOBODY SAW THE TOYS WALKING AROUND?!” – me every time I watch Toy Story 3
*turns TV off* “THEY HAD CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BUT NOBODY SAW THE TOYS WALKING AROUND?!” – me every time I watch Toy Story 3
What’s the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist? A Methodist will say “hi” to you at the liquor store
What’s the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist? A Methodist will say “hi” to you at the liquor store
What’s an “innuendo” ? An Italian suppository
What’s an “innuendo” ? An Italian suppository
Someone on my street has taken up the clarinet, which has inspired me to take up the sniper rifle…
Someone on my street has taken up the clarinet, which has inspired me to take up the sniper rifle…
If you think you’re having a bad day, the lady who took my order in the drive-thru asked me if my order was to go.
If you think you’re having a bad day, the lady who took my order in the drive-thru asked me if my order was to go.
What do you tell your bird when it doesn’t want to urinate? Pee cock!
What do you tell your bird when it doesn’t want to urinate? Pee cock!
slight variation on an arguable classic: How do mermaids reproduce? Binary fish-ion.
slight variation on an arguable classic: How do mermaids reproduce? Binary fish-ion.