Category: Cat jokes

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Nothing, she just gagged a little.

If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping…

My wife asked me to bring home some stuff for the pancakes yesterday. She wasn’t happy when I came back with a push up bra.

I had a bad diarrhea few days back… Someone online suggested I should try potatoes. I’ve showed one up by butt and I haven’t taken a shit in 3 days! Thanks stranger!

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, you’ll be a mile away and he’ll be barefoot.

911! I just murdered a bunch of people 911: omg on purpose? Hang on lemme ask, did I murder anyone by mistake?.. No one is answering, So..

My wife asked me why I was walking around the house with a gun I responded, “Because of those fucking decepticons!” I laughed. She laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster.

science jokes two chemists walk into a bar, the first one says “I’ll have H20” the second one says “I’ll have H20 two” the second chemist dies.how did he die? tell me in the comments

Turns out today is Star Wars day… May the fourth be with you.

I like my coffee Like I like my women Strong and free!