[From Basement]: *scary murdery noise* Me: oh shit Me: *makes slightly more scary more murdery noise* [From Basement]: Oh shit
How does someone become a sex expert? They learn the ins and outs
How does someone become a sex expert? They learn the ins and outs
What’s the difference between a Muslim woman and an American one? An American woman gets stoned *before* she commits adultery.
What’s the difference between a Muslim woman and an American one? An American woman gets stoned *before* she commits adultery.
[at gym] Him: How much do you bench? Me: Way less than I couch.
[at gym] Him: How much do you bench? Me: Way less than I couch.
What is a tuna’s favorite city? Albacoreque.
What is a tuna’s favorite city? Albacoreque.
Two nuns are riding bicycles down a bumpy road… One turns to the other and say “I never came this way before”.
Two nuns are riding bicycles down a bumpy road… One turns to the other and say “I never came this way before”.
Irony My friend was trying to explain to me that I don’t understand the concept of irony… which is ironic because we were standing at a bus stop.
Irony My friend was trying to explain to me that I don’t understand the concept of irony… which is ironic because we were standing at a bus stop.
Two Breasts Two 80-year-old breasts are in a sweater with no bra. One says to the other, “If we don’t start getting some support for our cause, people will think we’re nuts!”
Two Breasts Two 80-year-old breasts are in a sweater with no bra. One says to the other, “If we don’t start getting some support for our cause, people will think we’re nuts!”
Pro tip: “Hold my drink” is not a proper response to “License and registration, please.” …… apparently.
Pro tip: “Hold my drink” is not a proper response to “License and registration, please.” …… apparently.
How was the sound quality of Shrek’s musical keyboard? Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre
How was the sound quality of Shrek’s musical keyboard? Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre