I swear, a pigeon at the bus stop this morning was trying to flirt with me. Anyway, totally fucked that pigeon.
Why does a white guy go to a brothel? For pleasure. Why does a black guy go to a brothel? He’s looking for his mother.
Why does a white guy go to a brothel? For pleasure. Why does a black guy go to a brothel? He’s looking for his mother.
“I’d make an awesome president. Give me a problem, any problem.” “Um, population control?” “Kill all the storks. BOOM!”
“I’d make an awesome president. Give me a problem, any problem.” “Um, population control?” “Kill all the storks. BOOM!”
Why should you wear leather when playing Hide and Seek? Because it’s made of hide.
Why should you wear leather when playing Hide and Seek? Because it’s made of hide.
Whats the difference between acne and the pope? Acne doesn’t come on your face till about thirteen.
Whats the difference between acne and the pope? Acne doesn’t come on your face till about thirteen.
What travels down an alley and has holes in it? Batman’s parents.
What travels down an alley and has holes in it? Batman’s parents.
What is grey and hairy and lives on a man’s face? A mousetache.
What is grey and hairy and lives on a man’s face? A mousetache.
me *dead*: at least I don’t have to pay student loans *Gets e-mail* We see your living status has changed. Click to update your loan info.
me *dead*: at least I don’t have to pay student loans *Gets e-mail* We see your living status has changed. Click to update your loan info.
A woman stands on a boardwalk… She notices a man below looking up her dress. “You, sir, are no gentleman!” “And you, lady, are no blonde!”
A woman stands on a boardwalk… She notices a man below looking up her dress. “You, sir, are no gentleman!” “And you, lady, are no blonde!”
“and this lake shall be called Superior” all the other Great Lakes: “k wow we’re like right here”
“and this lake shall be called Superior” all the other Great Lakes: “k wow we’re like right here”