911: What’s you’re emergency? ME: You mean “your”? 911: OK. So..? ME: Someone’s murdering me 911: You mean “murdered” ME:.. 911: [dial tone]
So a Croatian walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “We don’t serb your kind!”
So a Croatian walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “We don’t serb your kind!”
I used to work in food service, now I work in IT The biggest difference is the phrase “My server went down on me” is no longer a good thing.
I used to work in food service, now I work in IT The biggest difference is the phrase “My server went down on me” is no longer a good thing.
NAZI: I’m a Nazi MEDIA: How controversial NAZI: I said I was a Nazi MEDIA: Your clothes are beautifully tailored
NAZI: I’m a Nazi MEDIA: How controversial NAZI: I said I was a Nazi MEDIA: Your clothes are beautifully tailored
A duck walks up to a lemonade stand… and he says quack, quack.
A duck walks up to a lemonade stand… and he says quack, quack.
89% of being a parent is telling my kids to put on shoes before we leave the house and then getting in the car wearing my slippers.
89% of being a parent is telling my kids to put on shoes before we leave the house and then getting in the car wearing my slippers.
IAN: Just how do fleas jump so high? ME: Your guess is as good as mine I: I reckon they wear tiny tiny Air Jordans M: Ok I take that back
IAN: Just how do fleas jump so high? ME: Your guess is as good as mine I: I reckon they wear tiny tiny Air Jordans M: Ok I take that back
I hate this place, as soon as I find my clothes, I am leaving.
I hate this place, as soon as I find my clothes, I am leaving.
Why do more men die in car crashes than woman? Because women are at the wheel.
Why do more men die in car crashes than woman? Because women are at the wheel.
What do you call a black widow trapped in a bowl of noodles? Natasha Ramenoff
What do you call a black widow trapped in a bowl of noodles? Natasha Ramenoff