Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper
At the funeral home How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated? Hmm No risk do both.
At the funeral home How do you want your mother-in-law buried or cremated? Hmm No risk do both.
Car alarms would be a lot more effective if they sounded like two people fighting. I’d peak out my window for that.
Car alarms would be a lot more effective if they sounded like two people fighting. I’d peak out my window for that.
Negative pregnancy tests, because everyone loves good news on a stick
Negative pregnancy tests, because everyone loves good news on a stick
Why do women put on makeup and perfume? Because they’re ugly and smell bad…
Why do women put on makeup and perfume? Because they’re ugly and smell bad…
A polish guy goes to the ophthalmologist Doctor: Can you read this? C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z Polish: Read? I know that guy!
A polish guy goes to the ophthalmologist Doctor: Can you read this? C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z Polish: Read? I know that guy!
My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she’s sad. She’s an expert in sighcology.
My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she’s sad. She’s an expert in sighcology.
Sally Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally has no arms. Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.
Sally Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally has no arms. Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.
Love restaurants that put ice cubes in their urinals. Makes me think the ice is a bank vault and my pee is a laser.
Love restaurants that put ice cubes in their urinals. Makes me think the ice is a bank vault and my pee is a laser.
Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture? No! Did he hurt the cows? No he just grazed them!
Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture? No! Did he hurt the cows? No he just grazed them!