How do you know if someone is a vegan? Because everyone around them will be giving them shit for it.
Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time caddy. It’s distracting!” Caddy: “This isn’t a watch sir its a compass!”
Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time caddy. It’s distracting!” Caddy: “This isn’t a watch sir its a compass!”
Q. What do a hurricane a tornado and a redneck divorce all have in common? A. Someone’s going to lose their trailer…
Q. What do a hurricane a tornado and a redneck divorce all have in common? A. Someone’s going to lose their trailer…
Terrible I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
Terrible I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
Love restaurants that put ice cubes in their urinals. Makes me think the ice is a bank vault and my pee is a laser.
Love restaurants that put ice cubes in their urinals. Makes me think the ice is a bank vault and my pee is a laser.
Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture? No! Did he hurt the cows? No he just grazed them!
Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture? No! Did he hurt the cows? No he just grazed them!
I was in math class and my teacher asked “What comes after 69?” Apparently “I do” is not the correct answer.
I was in math class and my teacher asked “What comes after 69?” Apparently “I do” is not the correct answer.
So i was sitting on the toilet today… Nah it’s a shit joke, nevermind
So i was sitting on the toilet today… Nah it’s a shit joke, nevermind
What did one egg cell say to the other? I’m not ovary fond of you
What did one egg cell say to the other? I’m not ovary fond of you
Fish don’t seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid air I’d prob eat it.
Fish don’t seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid air I’d prob eat it.