What’s the difference between my broken watch and a lesbian? My watch hasn’t got a strap on.
What does a bowling ball and your mom have in common? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they’ll always come back.
What does a bowling ball and your mom have in common? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they’ll always come back.
SPELLING BEE “Defiant” Can I have the definition, please? “No”
SPELLING BEE “Defiant” Can I have the definition, please? “No”
What do you do at a festival when the bass is too much? Drop some acid, it’ll neutralize the effect
What do you do at a festival when the bass is too much? Drop some acid, it’ll neutralize the effect
[Date] Me: how about a drink? get whatever floats your boat Her: thanks! i’ll have a mai tai Me: *glaring* you float a boat with water karen
[Date] Me: how about a drink? get whatever floats your boat Her: thanks! i’ll have a mai tai Me: *glaring* you float a boat with water karen
Wife: Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back? Husband: Because when I get round to the front I’ve forgotten what I was going to say
Wife: Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back? Husband: Because when I get round to the front I’ve forgotten what I was going to say
How many LA cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nobody knows. LA cops just beat the shit out of the room for being black in the first place.
How many LA cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nobody knows. LA cops just beat the shit out of the room for being black in the first place.
Where does a Turkey live? A coup.
Where does a Turkey live? A coup.
I’m good at telling dad jokes Hi good at telling dad jokes, I’m dad.
I’m good at telling dad jokes Hi good at telling dad jokes, I’m dad.
Me: Goodnight Moon. Moon: Don’t “Goodnight” me! Do you know what time it is? Where the hell have you been?
Me: Goodnight Moon. Moon: Don’t “Goodnight” me! Do you know what time it is? Where the hell have you been?