I posted “I did it!!!” to Facebook and got a ton of congratulations but nobody realized I was confessing.
I shaved all the hair of my girlfriend’s cat. Hopefully she takes the hint.
I shaved all the hair of my girlfriend’s cat. Hopefully she takes the hint.
What will you find in the toilet of a ship? The captains log.
What will you find in the toilet of a ship? The captains log.
Why was the legless man immortal? Because he couldn’t kick the bucket.
Why was the legless man immortal? Because he couldn’t kick the bucket.
My friend asked me what a Freudian Slip means. I told him, “It’s when you mean to say one thing, but fuck your mother.”
My friend asked me what a Freudian Slip means. I told him, “It’s when you mean to say one thing, but fuck your mother.”
What do you call a camel in Alaska? Lost.
What do you call a camel in Alaska? Lost.
What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a bad joke?
What do you get when you combine a rhetorical question and a bad joke?
“I’m cold” – a talking ice cube or a woman
“I’m cold” – a talking ice cube or a woman
What is a homeless man’s favorite type of music? House music
What is a homeless man’s favorite type of music? House music
Noah’s Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?
Noah’s Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?