I’d never lie just to get a girl to sleep with me, is one of my favorite lies to tell girls that I am trying to sleep with.
What stops rape every time? Consent.
What stops rape every time? Consent.
I wish I was filled with pepperoni but instead I am filled with guilt & despair
I wish I was filled with pepperoni but instead I am filled with guilt & despair
If I ever kill someone I’m dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like “oh yeah this makes sense.”
If I ever kill someone I’m dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like “oh yeah this makes sense.”
With Tim Cook being gay and all… It’s no wonder he likes dongles so much.
With Tim Cook being gay and all… It’s no wonder he likes dongles so much.
A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.
A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.
“hoes before hos” –the belief that your garden’s needs should always come before your bitch’s.
“hoes before hos” –the belief that your garden’s needs should always come before your bitch’s.
What’s the difference between Botox and Borax? Two letters.
What’s the difference between Botox and Borax? Two letters.
Jehova’s witnesses don’t celebrate halloween I guess they just don’t appreciate random people coming up and knocking on their doors.
Jehova’s witnesses don’t celebrate halloween I guess they just don’t appreciate random people coming up and knocking on their doors.
Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to? Pupil: Nobody I know!
Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to? Pupil: Nobody I know!