Category: Cat jokes

I posted a joke via USPS… …not sure if it was their fault or mine, but the delivery of the punchline was completely botched.

My GF is like my treasure… I buried her in my backyard yesterday.

My dad “Girls are the devil, always remember that son” says my married father while we were eating supper in front of my mother/his wife

The best part of being single is being able to sleep around… You get to sleep all over your bed. Left, right, diagonal, or in the middle.

I’m sick of all of the Irish stereotypes… As soon as I finish this drink I’m punching someone

How could you be pregnant!?!?!?!?! I bought he GOOD dollar store condoms!!!

I had a dodgy dwarf do a bit of casual building work for me. He asked to be paid under the table.

What would the headline read if an average redditor were killed by a venemous spider bite? Brown Recluse Kills White Recluse

Just banged my toe on a table & kept moaning in pain so much that I made a new Coldplay song.

I went to the butcher’s the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”