Category: Bird jokes

My grandmother said she would give birth to my mother when the time machine was invented. Apparently she lied.

Two fish swim into a wall One looks at the other and says *”Dam!”* #oldbutgold

My wife and I got into an argument she said ‘you should treat me like I’m the last woman on earth’ I said- what, lock you down in the basement and let men cum on your face for a million dollars?

What’s the difference between your mom and 3 dicks? Your mom can’t take a joke.

What kind of hair do oceans have? …Wavy hair.

Donald Trump Trump never uses the washroom, ….. that’s why he’s so full of shit!

How do you stop your dog from humping your leg? You suck his dick. How can you tell your dogs gay? His dick tastes like shit.

Me: (Sigh) There she is. Him: Sounds like you’re still carrying a torch for her. Me: Yea, like the villagers carried one for Frankenstein!

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a guy, on the side of the highway reciting the alphabet backwards and trying to walk a straight line.

People who are constipated are such activists. They’re seriously always trying to start a movement…