Category: Bird jokes

Twenty years ago my mother almost aborted my brother. Yesterday he died in a fight with a cloakroom attendant. The coathanger still got him in the end.

My grandmother said she would give birth to my mother when the time machine was invented. Apparently she lied.

No point I’ll go straight to the point, this all sentence is pointless

What’s a prostitute’s favourite type of bird? A cock-r-two

ME: You’ve put on weight DRACULA: No I haven’t. Prove it ME: When you fly, how many bats do you turn into? DRACULA: [deep sigh] A shitload

Donald Trump Trump never uses the washroom, ….. that’s why he’s so full of shit!

How do you stop your dog from humping your leg? You suck his dick. How can you tell your dogs gay? His dick tastes like shit.

Me: (Sigh) There she is. Him: Sounds like you’re still carrying a torch for her. Me: Yea, like the villagers carried one for Frankenstein!

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a guy, on the side of the highway reciting the alphabet backwards and trying to walk a straight line.

People who are constipated are such activists. They’re seriously always trying to start a movement…