The cashier wasn’t impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said “Keep the change” from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase.
Knock knock Who’s…(loud crash as a battering ram demolishes the front door)…there? We’re the Ferguson Police Department. We ask the questions.
Knock knock Who’s…(loud crash as a battering ram demolishes the front door)…there? We’re the Ferguson Police Department. We ask the questions.
[outside a blazing house] Firefighter: … Me: … Firefighter: … Me: … There was a spider.
[outside a blazing house] Firefighter: … Me: … Firefighter: … Me: … There was a spider.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
Leo: *names his child Oscar* Doctor: “Would you like to hol-” Leo: “Say it like we rehearsed it.” Doctor: *sighs* “And the Oscar goes to…”
Leo: *names his child Oscar* Doctor: “Would you like to hol-” Leo: “Say it like we rehearsed it.” Doctor: *sighs* “And the Oscar goes to…”
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.
Husband catchs pregnant woman eating grass, what is it? Just pregnancy desire
Husband catchs pregnant woman eating grass, what is it? Just pregnancy desire
Social Media For Drug Dealers It’s called instagram
Social Media For Drug Dealers It’s called instagram
What’s the difference between a seal and a sealion? An extra electron
What’s the difference between a seal and a sealion? An extra electron
Why did the scarecrow earn an achievement award? He was outstanding in his field
Why did the scarecrow earn an achievement award? He was outstanding in his field