Category: Bird jokes

What made Gandalf spend most of his time in the Shire at brothels? Love of the Halflings’ queef.

GOLFER: what r u thinkin ME (caddying): honestly sometimes i wake up & am mad that im not dead GOLFER: jesus. i meant what club should i use

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in them.

If Trump gets elected this November I’m going to jack off Because I might as well cum if I’m getting fucked.

How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with , “A man once told me… “

You know, I haven’t always been liberal You would see I’m a big fan of 80’s Bush, if you check my search history.

Whats grosser then gross? Shoving 12 oysters up your grandmothers vagina and sucking out 13.

Guys GUYS wait! Stay awake, for God’s sake stay awake because I just found out if you die on Twitter YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE!

Bruce Wayne: I wanna fight crime. Alfred: You’re a billionaire. Open orphanages, free clinics, day care cen- Bruce: No I wanna punch people.

Coworker: “How was your weekend?” Me: “You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions.”