Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year!
Guys, I ran the numbers, and each 1000 Twitter followers adds about as much actual value and happiness to your life as a taco.
Guys, I ran the numbers, and each 1000 Twitter followers adds about as much actual value and happiness to your life as a taco.
ISIS is stuck between Iraq and a hard place.
ISIS is stuck between Iraq and a hard place.
A guy walks into a bar and asks “Do you serve lawyers?” The bartender responds “Yes, of course!” The man then says “Well then. I’ll have a beer for myself and a lawyer for my alligator.”
A guy walks into a bar and asks “Do you serve lawyers?” The bartender responds “Yes, of course!” The man then says “Well then. I’ll have a beer for myself and a lawyer for my alligator.”
Bill Cosby sure does love pudding Pudding his dick where it doesn’t belong.
Bill Cosby sure does love pudding Pudding his dick where it doesn’t belong.
It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
Only a few weeks left before Election Day in the US and I am still undecided… …if I should move to Canada or New Zealand.
Only a few weeks left before Election Day in the US and I am still undecided… …if I should move to Canada or New Zealand.
*being pulled away by security from flamingo pen at the zoo with a handful of pink feathers and a black eye* HE STARTED IT
*being pulled away by security from flamingo pen at the zoo with a handful of pink feathers and a black eye* HE STARTED IT
What do you call an important Australian? A significunt
What do you call an important Australian? A significunt
I was at the park today by the playground. A mother asked me which kid was mine. “I haven’t decided yet.”.
I was at the park today by the playground. A mother asked me which kid was mine. “I haven’t decided yet.”.