EXEPT FOR TWO THINGS Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet
Did you hear about the doctor who killed anyone over 15 stone? He was a mass murderer.
Did you hear about the doctor who killed anyone over 15 stone? He was a mass murderer.
What do you call a group of men in a flying car having unsatisfying sexual intercourse with a single woman because they feel sorry for her? A shitty pity gangbang.
What do you call a group of men in a flying car having unsatisfying sexual intercourse with a single woman because they feel sorry for her? A shitty pity gangbang.
My wife has really dry skin so I asked my doctor what I could do about it. He said, “Give her a milk bath.” I said, “Pasteurized?” The doctor replied, “No, just up to her knees will do.”
My wife has really dry skin so I asked my doctor what I could do about it. He said, “Give her a milk bath.” I said, “Pasteurized?” The doctor replied, “No, just up to her knees will do.”
Google Assistant gave me that one What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener
Google Assistant gave me that one What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener
My memory is warped and skips often You could call it phonographic
My memory is warped and skips often You could call it phonographic
20 yr old mom: my child is my life I would give my own life for him 40 yr old mom: GET OFF THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW OR I WILL END YOU
20 yr old mom: my child is my life I would give my own life for him 40 yr old mom: GET OFF THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW OR I WILL END YOU
Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it’s not just women who won’t marry you.
Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it’s not just women who won’t marry you.
My sister bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti.. She was right. The very premise is absurd.
My sister bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti.. She was right. The very premise is absurd.
What happens if you try to sit on Death’s couch? There will be grim reaper cushions
What happens if you try to sit on Death’s couch? There will be grim reaper cushions