“I really wish you’d post more 4sq checkins & tumblr links” -no one on Twitter ever
Not sure, but I think I just got to 3rd base with my toothbrush.
Not sure, but I think I just got to 3rd base with my toothbrush.
I accidentally ran over a leprachaun. I brought it home and cooked it up. TRAGICALLY DELICIOUS!
I accidentally ran over a leprachaun. I brought it home and cooked it up. TRAGICALLY DELICIOUS!
An old man and young boy are walking through the woods at night; the boy says “I’m scared.”, to which the old man responds “*You’re* scared?? *I’m* the one that has to walk back alone!”
An old man and young boy are walking through the woods at night; the boy says “I’m scared.”, to which the old man responds “*You’re* scared?? *I’m* the one that has to walk back alone!”
Going to see the new batman tonight, heard it got killer reviews.
Going to see the new batman tonight, heard it got killer reviews.
What did Ryan Lochte name his Gold medal? GoldiLochtes
What did Ryan Lochte name his Gold medal? GoldiLochtes
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
Why is my Tetris highscore like my wife? I beat both of them for fun.
Why is my Tetris highscore like my wife? I beat both of them for fun.
Wanna know a joke? Look through this subreddit, there are plenty of good ones to be found!
Wanna know a joke? Look through this subreddit, there are plenty of good ones to be found!
Why shouldn’t you kiss anybody on New Years Day? Because it’s the first date.
Why shouldn’t you kiss anybody on New Years Day? Because it’s the first date.