What’s long and hard and screws people? An exam.
What is the difference between picking your nose…. …and fucking someone up the ass? When picking your nose, you hope something **will** be stuck to the end after you pull out!
What is the difference between picking your nose…. …and fucking someone up the ass? When picking your nose, you hope something **will** be stuck to the end after you pull out!
I’m now on year 3 of the ‘7 day ab challenge’
I’m now on year 3 of the ‘7 day ab challenge’
Why can’t Hellen Keller drive? Cause she’s dead
Why can’t Hellen Keller drive? Cause she’s dead
I don’t just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day.
I don’t just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day.
Why are there no owls here? I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OWLS HERE! #hooters
Why are there no owls here? I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OWLS HERE! #hooters
I just rolled a joint… Now my ankle hurts Edit: You did not expect that!
I just rolled a joint… Now my ankle hurts Edit: You did not expect that!
Racecar spelt backwards is still racecar But racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died
Racecar spelt backwards is still racecar But racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died
The problem with kissing a perfect 10 Is how cold the mirror feels on your lips.
The problem with kissing a perfect 10 Is how cold the mirror feels on your lips.
*wakes up w/phone in hand* Me:[texting] Sorry I fell asleep on ya last night *text chime* Couch: I’m like right here why are you texting me?
*wakes up w/phone in hand* Me:[texting] Sorry I fell asleep on ya last night *text chime* Couch: I’m like right here why are you texting me?