You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, “concentrate”.
Spider just landed on my shoulder. I didn’t want to kill it so I just fainted instead.
Spider just landed on my shoulder. I didn’t want to kill it so I just fainted instead.
a co-worker asked me if I was pregnant and I panicked and said yes so now I have to gradually gain like 30 pounds
a co-worker asked me if I was pregnant and I panicked and said yes so now I have to gradually gain like 30 pounds
I just finished my first week of work at ThyssenKrupp. I’m already seeing great opportunities for upward mobility. All in all, it’s been a very elevating experience.
I just finished my first week of work at ThyssenKrupp. I’m already seeing great opportunities for upward mobility. All in all, it’s been a very elevating experience.
The problem with having a large imagination is that you can imagine your friends naked. Now you’re doing it too.
The problem with having a large imagination is that you can imagine your friends naked. Now you’re doing it too.
Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was carbon bonded to the chicken.
Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was carbon bonded to the chicken.
I have trained a cup full of meal-worms to give me sexual pleasure… …I’m a master baiter
I have trained a cup full of meal-worms to give me sexual pleasure… …I’m a master baiter
What was the bear’s favourite pick-up line? Hey baby, what’s ursine?
What was the bear’s favourite pick-up line? Hey baby, what’s ursine?
On a microwave, typing in 90 gives you a longer cooking time than typing in 100. MIND BLOWN
On a microwave, typing in 90 gives you a longer cooking time than typing in 100. MIND BLOWN
How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Don’t be silly, Californians screw in hot tubs!
How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Don’t be silly, Californians screw in hot tubs!