My favorite poem Roses are red Violets are blue I hope I don’t Impregnate you
Ain’t no party like a Neal Brennan party cuz Neal Brennan quietly resents you for making a mess.
Ain’t no party like a Neal Brennan party cuz Neal Brennan quietly resents you for making a mess.
My wife is a psycho, this tweet isn’t a joke its a cry for help.
My wife is a psycho, this tweet isn’t a joke its a cry for help.
What’s a thimble? By definithion, thomething that represenths or thtands for thomething elth. Thymbolithm, y’know.
What’s a thimble? By definithion, thomething that represenths or thtands for thomething elth. Thymbolithm, y’know.
old man’s advice when you’re young, she just takes your breath away, but once you’re older, you realize she’s suffocating you.
old man’s advice when you’re young, she just takes your breath away, but once you’re older, you realize she’s suffocating you.
A woman goes to the doctor… The doctor asks “What seems to be the problem?” She responds, “Every time I sneeze, I orgasm” The doctor ask, “Are you taking anything for it?” “Yeah, pepper.”
A woman goes to the doctor… The doctor asks “What seems to be the problem?” She responds, “Every time I sneeze, I orgasm” The doctor ask, “Are you taking anything for it?” “Yeah, pepper.”
A little bird told me I’m on LSD and talking to a bird.
A little bird told me I’m on LSD and talking to a bird.
Why was the man with no arms or legs the BEST party host? Because no matter what, when you get to the front door you will always see a welcome Matt.
Why was the man with no arms or legs the BEST party host? Because no matter what, when you get to the front door you will always see a welcome Matt.
I went to my dad and asked him… Me: hey dad will you watch a movie I’m going to cast in Dad : no Me: why? Dad: I don’t watch porn
I went to my dad and asked him… Me: hey dad will you watch a movie I’m going to cast in Dad : no Me: why? Dad: I don’t watch porn
I was in bed last night with my wife. She turns to me and says “If you turn the lamp off, I’ll take it up the arse.” I should have waited for the bulb to cool down.
I was in bed last night with my wife. She turns to me and says “If you turn the lamp off, I’ll take it up the arse.” I should have waited for the bulb to cool down.