Optimism The eternal belief that you’re always one-third of the way to a threesome.
On this new /j thing im really back and forth on it
On this new /j thing im really back and forth on it
I saw Kony kissing Santa Claus
I saw Kony kissing Santa Claus
What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt.
What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt.
Before you get into an argument with someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when the argument starts you’ll be a mile away and have their shoes.
Before you get into an argument with someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when the argument starts you’ll be a mile away and have their shoes.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar? Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar? Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.
What do paper towels call their family? NapKIN
What do paper towels call their family? NapKIN
Computer does what you command him to do but not what you want from him.
Computer does what you command him to do but not what you want from him.
Do you like Wendy’s? Reply: Yes! Answer: you like it when deez nuts in yo face
Do you like Wendy’s? Reply: Yes! Answer: you like it when deez nuts in yo face
Two dogs on a coffee break *Dogs on coffee break* Dog 1: Heard a great joke. Dog 2: Oh yeah? Dog 1: Knock kn- *Dog 2 goes fuckin’ nuts*
Two dogs on a coffee break *Dogs on coffee break* Dog 1: Heard a great joke. Dog 2: Oh yeah? Dog 1: Knock kn- *Dog 2 goes fuckin’ nuts*