ME: This house is haunted WIFE [sigh] We’ve been thru this, that’s our son SON: I just have a pale complexion Dad ME: TELL ME YOU HEARD THAT
What did the snail say when his friend lost his car? Where did Es-car-go.
What did the snail say when his friend lost his car? Where did Es-car-go.
What did the Mexican wife say to her Husband? You’ll never be president, Jeb.
What did the Mexican wife say to her Husband? You’ll never be president, Jeb.
Either people up north are getting friendlier or it’s the spring-like weather because I was just told to “please” go fuck myself.
Either people up north are getting friendlier or it’s the spring-like weather because I was just told to “please” go fuck myself.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you’re nuts.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you’re nuts.
Do you think Kanye West will becom president? I don’t know. I don’t have 2020 vision.
Do you think Kanye West will becom president? I don’t know. I don’t have 2020 vision.
“This is mine”, he growled passionately into her ear. “Are we clear?” Breathlessly, she agreed. She wouldn’t try to eat his nachos again.
“This is mine”, he growled passionately into her ear. “Are we clear?” Breathlessly, she agreed. She wouldn’t try to eat his nachos again.
me: it smells like updog in here me: what’s updog me: not much dog what’s up with you lmao me: lol therapist: I see
me: it smells like updog in here me: what’s updog me: not much dog what’s up with you lmao me: lol therapist: I see
My friend told me the onion is the only food that makes you cry. I disagreed and threw a coconut at his face.
My friend told me the onion is the only food that makes you cry. I disagreed and threw a coconut at his face.
Life is like a box of chocolates… It can be a load of shit.
Life is like a box of chocolates… It can be a load of shit.