If Trump becomes president… Orange will really be the new black
My best exit strategy: 1)Play my ring tone 2)Excuse myself 3)Yell “OMG! I’m on my way now!” & tell them my brother had a bad car accident.
My best exit strategy: 1)Play my ring tone 2)Excuse myself 3)Yell “OMG! I’m on my way now!” & tell them my brother had a bad car accident.
What is the similarity between Disney World and a woman? They both make you wait 2 hours for a 30 second ride!
What is the similarity between Disney World and a woman? They both make you wait 2 hours for a 30 second ride!
If Lance Armstrong and Oscar Pistorius have taught us anything, it’s don’t trust athletes with missing body parts
If Lance Armstrong and Oscar Pistorius have taught us anything, it’s don’t trust athletes with missing body parts
You’re like my hard drive. Fat and 32
You’re like my hard drive. Fat and 32
What do you call a girl with a tight vagina from Hong Kong? A Chinese finger trap
What do you call a girl with a tight vagina from Hong Kong? A Chinese finger trap
“Get off the phone” “Wash your hands” “Pull up your pants” “Make me dinner” My son runs a pretty tight ship in our household
“Get off the phone” “Wash your hands” “Pull up your pants” “Make me dinner” My son runs a pretty tight ship in our household
New Year New Joke Friend: Where do you see yourself in 4 years? Me: I don’t know, I don’t have 2020 vision.
New Year New Joke Friend: Where do you see yourself in 4 years? Me: I don’t know, I don’t have 2020 vision.
Because they need to bring young people to the church, insiders say the front runner for Pope is Seth MacFarlane.
Because they need to bring young people to the church, insiders say the front runner for Pope is Seth MacFarlane.
If Usain Bolt was an electrician… His name would be Usain Volt
If Usain Bolt was an electrician… His name would be Usain Volt